Another one of those late night ones.
Seems I’m back to “real life”. It’s after 3 in the morning [waiting for AFI hour, just because I can’t sleep] and for the first time in over a week I don’t have company, I don’t have an adventure to look forward to and I’m obviously back on tumblr.
There are so many things I want to say, so many things I want to show the world. But you know what, just being out there and living my life and not worrying so much for a week was so good.
I can not wait until it gets even better, I can not wait for summer, I can not wait for the weeks and months and even years to come. I haven’t felt like this in ages. This is due to so many great things and even greater people and although I’m obviously constantly worried and skeptical and side-eying the universe, it seems this year might not be so bad after all.
In other news, I found out that these exist:
http://fuckyeahchrisdos.tumblr.com/
http://fuckyeahchrishead.tumblr.com/
Yep, that’s two insta-follows right there. Especially the Head one because he’s my secret hero, and it warms my heart that there is a blog for him. I also apologise in advance for the A-F I’m going to undoubtedly spam on here. But then again I do not apologise at all.
Gay Bus
Dear Tumblr,
First things first: you may have noticed I’m not doing the thing with the 20 fandom-posts in a queue anymore. That’s because I’m actually a] trying to live a life b] still not cool with the copyright thing c] also trying to be more of an original-content-person. So I’ll like your stuff and maybe here and there reblog something epic. Cool? Cool.
Second: my baby Annso has a tumblr: annsoapples.tumblr.com and she’s amazing, and she makes the cutest art, so you should follow her.
Third: as you can see, my amazing boyface also has a tumblr and he writes beautiful words. [Insert story about duh he’s an English lit student and duh how can I not think they are beautiful I’m a word nerd I love words.]
But more importantly, they are very true words. They are words on issues that I also feel strongly about. [And also this video is amazing and everyone should watch it:]
zekesgotwheels:
So, there were these ads, right, put up by this wacked out insane-o-complex Christian group in the last couple of days that tried to purport the idea that homosexuality was a disease that could be cured. Here’s a link. (http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/apr/12/christian-anti-gay-ads-buses?INTCMP=SRCH)
Now, I don’t care where you come from, what ‘justification’ you have for believing in such a fact; if you truly believe that one person finding sexual and romantic pleasure in another of the same gender is a disease, do us all a favour. Remove yourself from the gene pool. I don’t care how you do it – snip your balls, ties your tubes, shotgun mouthwash -, whatever. This world, in all its beauty, will never ever sustain itself for your close minded ideology. Give up now. History has always proven that autocratic forms of social control provokes resistance – the Israelites in Egypt, the Irish under English rule, the Palestinians under Israeli oppression, to name three from an innumerable list – so change your way or recycle your body mass and oxygen into something more useful, please.
It makes me horribly sad that we’re still stuck in this gender binary, which makes no sense, and that people almost always have to go through all this hurt, discomfort, shame, you-name-it, before they can finally open their eyes and realise that maybe whatever society tells us we are, isn’t who we actually are.
So here’s my story:
I too went through multiple phases of finding my identity. In fact, I went through multiple phases in my life where I hated girls’ clothes and loved playing only with “boy toys”, then a long rebellion against anything ‘too mainstream’ or ‘too girly’ [I didn’t want to be like “all the other girls”] happened. Does that signify anything? Maybe. To me, that just shows I was trying to find myself. I’ve always been touching the boundaries so to speak. Trying to find out the other end of the spectrum. ‘Not shaving’ was as easy a thing to believe in at 14 as ‘not eating meat’ in my mind. It is now a matter of personal preference, but it is still incredibly heartbreaking that there are girls out there who would love to do their own thing but just don’t - but that’s a rant on beauty standards I’m not going to shove down your throats. To make a long story short, not caring about your appearance in the same way as ‘the norm’ is a tricky thing to do in a privileged high school, but doing this at a young age probably helped me grow into the person I am right now. I knew I’d rather be proud of myself for doing what I believed in, than go with the flow and regret it because I was living a lie.
My first girlfriend was convinced I was one hundred per cent gay. I’ve always known I’m not. I’ve had mostly heterosexual relationships, yet I obviously also don’t identify as straight. I do however feel the same kind of hesitance towards speaking out for LGBTQ rights as my boyface here, because… well. Where do I fit in? I’m a white, privileged individual who is seemingly living a life that fit the heteronormative and thus don’t get any of the discredit. Living a ‘straight’ lifestyle most of the time doesn’t make you straight in identity, yet it doesn’t really give you the ‘right’ to speak against it. Does it?
I think what bothers me most, is that you can’t tell from the outside. And I’m conflicted. Because it damn well shouldn’t be! People’s gender or sexuality shouldn’t be an issue. Never. In whatever situation and whatever time. It’s 2012 now, we should know better than the ridiculous heteronormative. It shouldn’t matter what or who you are and who you are attracted to. It shouldn’t be able to be ‘seen on the outside’ because it should just not be an issue.
I am a very visual person and I like being outspoken and standing up for what I believe in. That’s why this is so frustrating. Because it’s about trying to make it acceptable for anyone in the world to do whatever they want to do without them feeling like they have to because not doing so is wrong. From the outside, it feels like I’m enforcing the norm: by wearing dresses and living a ‘straight’ lifestyle, whatever that is…
I feel like I want to be part of the crowd that is trying to get their voices heard, but I feel like my voice doesn’t fit in with theirs all of the time. I still think that shouldn’t stop anyone from speaking out, so I’m glad the discussion is out there. I’m glad the campaign got pulled. I’m glad we’re slowly walking the path of progress.
And sometimes, just because two people fall in love have a different set of genitals, doesn’t make them straight. These people aren’t ill; they’re beautiful. They’re in love. They’re themselves.
I couldn’t have said it better myself. You are not sick in the slightest, if anything I think more people should be like you. Thank you for sharing your story. And I just wanted to say, I love you for who you are and I hope you know this and continue to believe in yourself like I believe in you.
I guess what matters in the end, is what you think. We can be ‘straight’ and believe in equality as much as we can be ‘not-straight’ and believe in equality. I think we should just be ‘us’ and never stop fighting for equality.
So that’s it. That’s my story and there’s no good way to end this, but hey. I have a billion words to write. Cheers.
You have no idea. This had been sitting in my drafts for months. Just waiting for the moment I could post this.
And today I feel it’s safe to say. A good fucking life. That’s what you’re doing to me, and I can’t express in words how happy that makes me and how thankful I am.
(Source: sydamarie)
Six great bands for £13? FUCKING WIN!
Going on a roadtrip with someone I like who likes Anti-Flag about as much as I do??? Pricelesssssss. Seriously.
note to self
GIVE UP ON SPOTIFY
Your OCD will cause you to make sad faces at your last.fm all day. Not good. Not good.
FM Static - Hey Now
[Hi, nice to meet you, I’m Vief, I’m a total sap. I’ve been listening to this song on repeat 4-5 times now. YEAHHH!
Or, yaaayeuhh.]
Relevant to my life: check.
Every minute I’m not with you I hope I see you soon: check.
There’s just something that happens when you walk into the room: check.
And you give me this feeling: check.
It’s like no other feeling: check.
It knocks me off my feet: check.
It just kind of happened somehow: check.
Please don’t ask me what I like about you ‘cause it’s every little thing you do: check.
Too true.
Relevant to my life: here’s a little story in which A decided to warn me and tell me to think hard about what I’m doing and I when asked him why he was telling me this, if he had any reason to think M is bad news or whatever, he replied: “He’s a guy and I know guys. Guys are twats.”
RENT Filmed Live on Broadway
(It’s the entire thing!)
1:05:15 onwards = my life. :D :D :D MY LIFE IS RENT WHEEEEE
It’s not like I don’t have this on my laptop. But finding this is glorious. IT’S GLORIOUS. But now I wanna watch Rent all day. Duh.
upon the 27th hour of being awake
[cheated a little, couldn’t help from nodding off slightly once the lecturer dimmed the light and it was time for Shakespearean quotations, aiai]
I locked myself out of the house
I, who leaves the key in the lock upon not forgetting it
>____>
<____<
THIS IS NOT GOING TO PLAN GUYS
seven billion more things to do, gotta dash.
uuughhhh Academic Writing you can go climb a tree
I’ve been awake almost 24 hours now and I am convinced I am not dumb. I can talk my talk. I just cannot write whatever you want me to write and you CAN’T JUST MESS WITH MY OCD THIS MUCH u____u
[In Lings, we use Harvard. In English, we use MHRA. I had never heard of MHRA but I now realise that whatever they made me do during IB is very close. Thankfully without the underlining, though. But there are footnotes :> Even though inserting them is a paaain.]
Which of the Bold Faced Lies Will We Use?
“I hope that you’re happy. You really deserve it. This will be best for us both, in the end.”
But your taste still lingers on my lips like I just placed them upon yours and I starve, I starve for you. But this new diet’s liquid, and dulling to the senses and it’s crude. But it will do.
Which of the standard lines will we use? “I’ve been meaning to call you, I’ve just been so busy. We’ll catch up soon - let’s make it a point to.”
But your taste still lingers on my lips like I just placed them upon yours and I starve, I starve for you! But this new diet’s liquid, and dulling to the senses and it’s crude. But it will do.
this too.
climb a tree, 2012. you could sit on that branch over there with 2011.
(Source: trickyourmindtofeel)
so I thought it would be a good idea
to listen to A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar
couldn’t be more wrong. sigh.
